Well as I've said to myself many times before this is a lifestyle change and not a diet. I don't have to many strict rules of what I put in my mouth, generally speaking it has to be somethign I would be happy to report to my Dr, or other inquiring minds. It has to be nutritious, so no empty calories and I get one cheat day a week. Unfortunately cheat days becomes extended usually a week or so before my auntie flo comes over. I dunno it's hormones I guess, but still it sets me back and sheeeeeit I am really trying to intensify my results. If you consult with my workout calendar, you'll see that my visits to the gym have increased by a day, I am trying to work up to 1/2 hr on the treadmill before or after a class. In body pump, I was doing squats, tricieps, biceps etc with 3 1/2 kg and now I have moved to 5 kg for squates, chest extension and lunges. for triceps I am still at 2 1/2 but the point is I am increasing and improving all around. It always makes me happy to see what I have achieved.It also makes me happy when people who know me can see the results.

Strangers how ever can sometimes be downright discriminatory to me and I figure other fat people. On one hand I've experienced the insults, and assumptions and plain ol nastiness since I was a child. yes I was a fat child, and personally I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Anywho I have a tough skin, but still I van be quite sensitive. So now when I encounter rude people who raise eye brows at my weight or whatever, I become the fat, black alley mcbeal. I envision doing violent things. Sometimes I want to just confirm their fat person stereotypes and sit on them, or bend over and blow a real stink fart in their face. you know, something a "gross fat person" would do. Unfortunately I am to sane to literally indulge in these twisted fantasies.

I think for most overweight.fat.obese/plus size people it's not just about acceptance, I think it has to do with just being care free when they walk out their front door, and not being made to feel self conscious. I think it's ignorant for people to tell a big person to go the gym or diet, and then when we do we're stared at or whispered after. We are human too.

There's this one owman in the gym, I can tell she doesn't like me because I am so big. I can tell she finds it humorous to see me in there and several times this woman has made me feel  uncomfortable. Today as I am walking out she is sitting on the bench, playin like she tyin her shoes, but I can see her watching me out the corner of her eyes, as I pass I look into the mirror and she is watching me, so I turn and say "I can see you looking at me" I guess that was the point eh? Get the fat girl upset or sumfin. I would love to sit on her, not just sit but like run and body slam her  Or something just as painful as she's made me feel. However she won't win, I never let people like her win. Ignorant elitists. I love to make them cringe with fat girl envy.

I'll be back evil gym heifer muahahahahha!