I am back and on track. After I came back from Jamaica life has been busy for me. No spare time, I had enough time to log on, check email and then go do something else. No joke. Then summer came...and there was like so much over time at work, and mad money to be made. So I worked my ass off and now I am determined to focus on other things now in the fall. Mainly myself and my social life. I've been in a rut the last few weeks, and my spirit just would not allow to me to progress. But now I'm like "fugg it", this is a new time for me. A continuation of where I left off a few months ago but with a much different mind and spirit. I've never been a social person. I always sought a corner to lurk in and observe. Never reallly participated and the few times I have, I've been able to have a fairly good time. So I want to continue that and make friends and go out and isht.

Tommorow is my first time back in an actual gym class after doing treadmill for months. I haven't lost much weight but the inches go down rather quickly. So I guess either way I am maintaining my "life makeover". It sounds like a cliche, but it is very hard in actuality. Plugging away day after day week after week in the gym with slow results is hard. I've been eating too damn much. I am a late night closet eater which sounds terrible, I know, but it is the only down time I have, and food evidently brings out those endorphins. anyways as I know what the problem is I will be slapping my self like silly when the urge arises. time to cut that shit out.

I have a wedding to attend next spring and it's going to be my own!  so I have this calm non chalant demeanor when I mention it to anyone else, but inside I am starting to get excited. Already thinking of ways to make it my "special day". I am marrying my son's father. I am so frikken scarred, like I have to give up blood or something. nah, I love him, I want another baby by him. lol But it's hard thinking of having a martha stewart wedding and having a budget wedding. I want photos on the beach at least.